If
you have happened to come across a framework named Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs,
you must have noticed the third level that speaks of Social Needs. Before you
begin to wonder what this framework is, let me explain – It is a motivational
theory primarily studied as a part of psychology that specifies the importance
of human needs in a decreasing order. A typical Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
pyramid will tell you about social needs on the third level which is generally
exemplified as a sense of love and Belonging.
Being a fairly important
non-materialistic need, belongingness has a number of interpretations – to some
it is acceptance, to others it signifies feeling one with an emotion, person,
place etc. The feeling of security and protection, able to let go of
inhibitions leading to free expression are a few other connotations of
belongingness.
You may be a social animal, you may
love your solitude. What is common here is that you still have the need to
belong. Most of us seek value, importance and respect in our relationships,
some of us quieter ones may find their belonging in their hobbies, nature,
books and so on. Our choices of where and how we want to belong is a huge
determinant of facets of our personality and well-being. These choices are
however, greatly influenced by factors such as peer pressure, attention and
inner calling. Wanting to be the teacher’s pet in kindergarten, feeling the
need to look a certain way, the need to be recognized and spoken of , the need
to feel accepted and attended to from friends and loved ones, the need to
accept and reject a certain genre of jobs; the list is never ending but goes on
to show that our ways and means may change, but the need to feel belonged shall
always remain.
But there are always two sides to the
same coin. There comes a time when your inner sense of belongingness may not
live up to your want to feel belonged. It is during such times that it comes
across as more of a compulsion than a need. A positive sense of belonging will
allow you to keep in mind the best interests of the ones around you. A
compulsion on the other hand may manifest itself in the form of dominance and
jealousy and is enough to scar one’s mental well-being. Change is one of the
significant factors that alters the sense of belonging. We have all heard
stories of immigrants who fail to adapt and still not feel a sense of belonging
after having a number of generations grow up in a foreign land. The older
generations are visibly uncomfortable with the fast-changing world today. The
advent of technology and the increasing pressure on them to keep up greatly
interferes with their sense of belonging and confidence.
One often finds himself psychologically
orphaned till he meets acceptance. Appreciation is of key value to him. Such is
the power of belongingness. It is the reason a smile can make your day, a pat
on the back makes you want to strive, eager eyes wait for you at the end of the
day and a much awaited phone call uplifts you!
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